Killing a Lobster

Kari and I love lobster but we hate to put them live into
boiling water (we only did this once and the guilt nearly killed us).
We "brainstormed" one night to come up with alternative ways
to kill a lobster and these are some methods we came up with. 

First of all, don't even try to drown him. It won't work. 

Don't poison him either. That would be really stupid if you're
going to eat him. 

Here's some possibilities that just might work: 

Knock him out, put him in a car, pour whiskey on him, and cut the
brake lines. 
Take him hunting... 
When he's in the bathtub, throw in a radio. 
Put some money in his pocket so it sticks out a little, drive him
to the city and make him walk down an alley. 
Put the word out on the streets that he's a stoolie. 
Secretly replace his heart medicine with Flintstone's vitamins. 
Take him skiing in avalanche season. 
Arrange a boating accident. 
Encourage him to run with scissors. 
Send him a letter bomb. 
Buy him flying lessons and loosen the screws on the steering wheel. 
Have him testify to Ken Starr against the Clintons. 
If you see him leaning out a high window, pop a bag behind him. 
When he's skydiving, remove his parachute from the pack. 
Send him to Bagdad to sell American flags. 
Serve him blowfish sushi, incorrectly prepared. 
Spread honey on him and tie him to an anthill. 
Take him scuba diving with an empty tank. 
Get him to play golf during a lightning storm. 
Ask him to clean your gun without first unloading it. 
Put a firecracker and a magnifying glass in his back pocket. 
Take him to the zoo and push him in the lion's cage. 
Any of these methods should be carefully done to make it look like
an accident.