MORON THIEF AWARDS (FROM ALL OVER)

Louisiana:  A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter
and asked for change.When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, 
which the clerk promptly provided.The man took the cash from the 
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The  total amount
of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. 

Arkansas:  Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that  he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,  grab 
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  Seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
caught on videotape.

New York:  As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man
grabbed  her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and
the woman  was able to give them a detailed description of the
snatcher.  Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher.
They  put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
then  taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. 
To which he replied "Yes Officer..that's her.That's the lady I stole
the  purse from."

Seattle:  When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home  parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. 

Ann Arbor:  The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50am, flashed a
gun  and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said
he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away.

Newark: A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned
that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report
called the phone, and told the guy that answered that he had read
the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to
meet, and the thief was apprehended and sent to the slammer.