Remembering Henny:
                                      . 
•I take my wife everywhere... but she always finds her way home.

•I haven't talked to my wife in 3 weeks - I didn't want to interrupt her

•You should have been born in the Dark Ages - 
 you look awful in the light

•A young man sat opposite me in the subway.
 He said "Call me a doctor - call me a doctor."
 I asked "What's the matter, are you sick?".
 He said "No, I've just graduated from medical school."

•A fellow goes to the psychiatrist who says " You're crazy."
 Man replies " I want a second opinion."
 Psychiatrist says " You're ugly too."

•She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

•Old man goes to the doctor. Doctor says " You're going to live
 until you're sixty." The old man says " But Doctor, I am sixty!"
 The doctor says " What did I tell you?"

•A nurse says to the doctor " The man you just gave a clean bill of
 health dropped dead outside the office door."
 The doctor says " Turn him round, make believe he's coming in."

•I've got this great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live.
 The guy couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six
 months.

•I went to my doctor with a sore foot. He promised he'd have
 me walking within the hour. He did. He  stole my car.

•A man walks into a psychiatrists office and says, "Doc, everyone
 ignores me."  Doctor says, "Next!"

•I got a full examination at the doctor. I said, "Doc, how do I stand?"
 Doc says "That's what puzzles me."

•I bought my wife an electric oven, electric toaster, electric
 blender.  She says, "there's too many appliances, I have nowhere
 to sit down," so I bought her an electric chair.

•My wife wanted to go somewhere she's never been before.
 I suggested the kitchen.

•Today's my 40th anniversary.  Imagine.  In love with
 the same woman for`40 years.  If my wife finds out, she'll kill me!

•The secret of our successful marriage is, twice a week, we go to
 a nice restaurant.  A little wine, some nice food.  I go Tuesday,
 she goesThursday.

•I go to my doctor's office.  He says go to the window and stick
 out your tongue.  I say, "Why?"  He says, "I'm mad at the guy next
 door."

•The doctor says, "take off your clothes."  I say, "Buy me dinner
 first."

•Fellow walks into the psychiatrists office, the doctor says, get
 on the couch.  He says, "I'm an automobile repairman."  Doctor
 says, "OK, get UNDER the couch."

• "A guy comes up to me and says, 'I haven't eaten in two days.' I
 told him, 'Force yourself.'"

• "I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was
 my mother, and I was a bottle baby."

• "A guy calls his lawyer. He says, 'Can I ask you two questions?'
 Lawyer says, 'What's the second one?'"

• "This guy asked his doctor, 'Will I be able to play the piano
 after my operation?' And the doctor says 'Sure.' And the guy says,
 'Funny, I couldn't do it before.'"

• "I just came from a pleasure trip I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

• "Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. One guys says,
 'Since when have you been wearing a girdle?' Other guy says,
 'Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car.'"

• "My doctor told me I was fat. I said I wanted a second opinion.
 He said, 'OK, you're ugly, too.'"

• "I live about four muggings from Central Park."

• "Take my wife, please."