Results of the Salon magazine
challenge to come up with computer
error messages in haiku form:

WINNERS

 Three things are certain:
 Death, taxes, and lost data.
 Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon

 Everything is gone;
 Your life's work has been destroyed.
 Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
-- David Carlson

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

 I'm sorry, there's -- um --
 insufficient -- what's-it-called?
 The term eludes me ...
-- Owen Mathews

 Windows NT crashed.
 I am the Blue Screen of Death.
 No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman

 Seeing my great fault
 Through darkening blue windows
 I begin again
-- Chris Walsh

 The code was willing,
 It considered your request,
 But the chips were weak.
-- Barry L. Brumitt

 Printer not ready.
 Could be a fatal error.
 Have a pen handy?
-- Pat Davis

 A file that big?
 It might be very useful.
 But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski

 Errors have occurred.
 We won't tell you where or why.
 Lazy programmers.
-- Charlie Gibbs

 Server's poor response
 Not quick enough for browser.
 Timed out, plum blossom.
-- Rik Jespersen

 Chaos reigns within.
 Reflect, repent, and reboot.
 Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner

 Login incorrect.
 Only perfect spellers may
 enter this system.
-- Jason Axley

 This site has been moved.
 We'd tell you where, but then we'd
 have to delete you.
-- Charles Matthews

 wind catches lily
 scatt'ring petals to the wind:
 segmentation fault
-- Nick Sweeney

 ABORTED effort:
 Close all that you have.
 You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler

 First snow, then silence.
 This thousand dollar screen dies
 so beautifully.
-- Simon Firth

 With searching comes loss
 and the presence of absence:
 "My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder

 The Tao that is seen
 Is not the true Tao, until
 You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso

 The Web site you seek
 cannot be located but
 endless others exist
-- Joy Rothke

 Stay the patient course
 Of little worth is your ire
 The network is down
-- David Ansel

 A crash reduces
 your expensive computer
 to a simple stone.
-- James Lopez

 There is a chasm
 of carbon and silicon
 the software can't bridge
-- Rahul Sonnad

 Yesterday it worked
 Today it is not working
 Windows is like that
-- Margaret Segall

 To have no errors
 Would be life without meaning
 No struggle, no joy
-- Brian M. Porter

 You step in the stream,
 but the water has moved on.
 This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington

 No keyboard present
 Hit F1 to continue
 Zen engineering?
-- Jim Griffith

 Hal, open the file
 Hal, open the damn file, Hal
 open the, please Hal
-- Jennifer Jo Lane

 Out of memory.
 We wish to hold the whole sky,
 But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney

 Having been erased,
 The document you're seeking
 Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham

 The ten thousand things
 How long do any persist?
 Netscape, too, has gone.
-- Jason Willoughby

 Rather than a beep
 Or a rude error message,
 These words: "File not found."
-- Len Dvorkin

 Serious error.
 All shortcuts have disappeared.
 Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes